It's a dream and a nightmare rolled into one, then battered and fried and topped with sriracha mayo. Pickswise, a free sports betting site, is offering one NFL fan the coveted -- and possibly dangerous -- position of NFL food tester.
Technically it's a contest, since you don't need any skills to be chosen for the role. What you do need is a tolerance for large crowds and even larger amounts of fried and sauced stadium food. A general affinity for football would probably help, too.
"The job description includes travelling to NFL stadiums to taste the finest tacos, nachos, burgers, hot dogs and sandwiches the league has to offer," Pickswise's announcement reads, combining the terms "NFL" and "finest tacos" for the first time in human history.
In addition to travel, tickets to each included NFL game and a food budget, Pickswise will also throw in $500, presumably as a Tums budget.
When all is said and done, Pickswise will ask their food tester which franchise offers the best food in the league. Will it be one of the countless premutations of hot dogs, some slathered with ungodly combinations of muck and others stretching unnaturally toward the two-foot mark? Will it be a filet bowl? A hoagie covered in crab dip that, heaven help us, actually sounds delicious?
Bold prediction: It's gonna be the Vegan Chickpea "Tuna" salad at the Minnesota Vikings stadium. Don't underestimate the underdog, or the human body's rejection of cholesterol.
If you want to enter, the contest/job application runs through September 9.