BALTIMORE — A Maryland woman thought she had found love twice — first with someone claiming to be a famous actor, then a well-known pastor. Both relationships lasted months before the requests for money began, costing Shirley Blake hundreds of dollars.
Blake wasn't looking for love when it found her through a random text message in March.
"I got a message through WhatsApp. It said, 'Hi, how are you?' And I messaged them back. I was like, 'Who is this?' And then he said, 'Kevin Costner,'" Blake said. "I was like, wow, OK, could this really be Kevin Costner trying to reach out to me kind of thing? And I was like, mm, OK, well, let's see."
They talked every day for over a month before the requests began.
"And then all of a sudden it became, well, you know, my bank accounts have been locked down," Blake said. "I was like, I'm sorry to hear that. And then he was like, Yeah, I can't even pay my phone bill. You know, if you could help me with my phone bill or if you could help me with this or that."
Blake realized something wasn't right and blocked the number.
Shortly after, Blake downloaded a Bible app during a difficult time in her life.
"And at the time I was going through some really, really tough times, and I said, well, I need to, I'm going to ask for prayer," Blake said.
She connected with someone claiming to be a pastor raising money for a sick child's surgery.
"She has stage 4 cancer. She's 12 years old. Her name is Emily. He sent me pictures of her with all kinds of medical apparatuses on her, which was really heartbreaking," Blake said. "I'll pitch in, so I sent him $450."
The messages then turned romantic, with the scammer telling Blake: "You're my soul mate. You're everything I ever wanted in a partner for life."
He then asked for money so he could travel to be with her. Blake sent another $200 before realizing she was being scammed.
"You want to look at your leaders of the church and you want to believe they are who they say they are. You want to believe that they are of God and that they are doing the best work they can behind the scenes for God's work for God's children, God's people, and I think that was the most crushing blow," Blake said.
FBI Baltimore Special Agent Sarah Lewis sees these cases regularly.
"These scammers are so well versed at how to talk to people and they use such verbal manipulation that the victims in their vulnerable states believe whatever they say," Lewis said.
Most victims are recently widowed, divorced or lonely.
"Here comes this scammer who gives them attention and tells them how wonderful they are. So usually, it starts with a lot of attention, you know, excessive praise, and that scammer really builds themselves into the victim's life," Lewis said.
Last year, the FBI received nearly 23,000 romance scam complaints. Victims reported losing nearly $900 million. The money is often sent through wire transfers, cryptocurrency or gift cards, making it difficult and sometimes impossible to recover.
Scammers always have explanations for why they can't use their own money.
"It seems very logical when they explain it. They might provide fake documents that they make from their attorney saying, here's a repayment note," Lewis said.
Lewis warns not to underestimate how convincing these scammers can be. One of the biggest red flags is if the person can't or won't meet face to face. They'll always have an excuse and often claim to be working overseas on an oil rig, construction site or engineering job.
Blake hopes her story helps others avoid the same trap.
"And I hope that people will really take this serious because it really does happen to good people," Blake said.
Lewis recommends talking to at least one other person before sending money to anyone you haven't met in person. You can also call the FBI at 1-800-CALL-FBI 24 hours a day. A live agent will answer and help determine if something sounds suspicious.
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