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Parents smoothing things over for kids after big move

Posted at 6:12 AM, Apr 04, 2019

HOUSTON, Texas. (Ivanhoe Newswire) — Making new friends after a move is critical to your child’s happiness, but what about when kids have problems adjusting?

New research shows that when children move from urban areas into suburban neighborhoods, the process of making new friends varies amongst age groups but parents can help.


The number of times Michael Loewer moved as a child … starting over, making new friends.

Loewer told Ivanhoe, “I think as a kid, you don’t notice that as much. Honestly. I think it’s more of an exciting thing.”

Loewer’s views parallel those of a recently-published study illustrating how older kids can find it hard to fit in.

Anna Rhodes, PhD, an assistant professor at Rice University, explained, “Younger kids have an easier time of it. They found that simple commonalities like in my Baltimore study, a love of the Ravens football team were enough to begin to connect with a peer.”

Loewer agreed, “There’s no pre-judgement. There’s no worry about fitting in.”

But then Rhodes said in adolescence, “As kids get into those older ages, they’re looking for their peers to be people they can really trust.”

True to the study, moving in high school was much harder for Loewer. “Although I had a fine time in my junior/senior year, my junior year in particular, I wouldn’t say I was a ghost; I had friends, but it was definitely different,” detailed Loewer.

What can parents do to smooth the transition? Seek out community gathering places, look for appropriate activities in settings with adult supervision and empathize with your child’s struggles to fit in.

Loewer said, “I think my parents did a really good job of making it our home. It never felt like we were not where we were supposed to be.”

Rhodes’ study followed 79 inner-city youth as they moved to the suburbs. The study highlights that adolescents may face some additional challenges in adjusting socially following a move from a high-poverty neighborhood, but the overarching takeaway: the involvement of parents applies across the board.

Produced by Child Trends News Service in partnership with Ivanhoe Broadcast News and funded by a grant from the National Science Foundation.